This week in class we learned about communication and mutual problem solving. We discussed good reasons not to open up your communication with someone and the 5 secrets of effective communication.
The first thing we discussed was good reasons as to why you shouldn’t communicate with someone. We got into small groups and shared our thoughts. The first reason that my group came up with was safety. A good reason to not open up to someone would be if you don’t trust them. For example, if you are in an abusive relationship. If you open up and say something they don’t like, it could trigger aggression in your partner and result in abuse. The second reason we came up with was it could create more conflict. If communicating will just cause more problems maybe you shouldn’t talk about it. A good saying to go with this would be “somethings are better left unsaid.”
After we were finished in our groups, we shared our ideas out loud. Some other valid reasons were bad timing, risk, too hard, guilt, backfire, manipulation, etc. For bad timing, it could be better if said sooner or later depending on the situation. It may just not be the right time. As for risks, it is innate for people to be scared of taking them. We are scared because we don’t exactly know the outcomes of the risk we want to take. It may be too hard to take the risk to say what we need to say to someone. Another reason is guilt. We may feel guilty about what we have done and are ashamed to share it, so we don’t. These are all good reasons not to open up. However, it is almost always better to open up than to keep things a secret.
The next thing we discussed were the 5 secrets of effective communication. The first secret is the disarming technique. The disarming technique is to find truth in what the other person says. You for yourself has to discern between what they say is false and what they say is true. The second secret is empathy. You have to try and understand how they feel and empathize with them. The third secret is inquiry. Inquiry would be to ask questions to clarify that you understand what they feel. You shouldn’t just sit back and assume how they are feeling. You should be straightforward and ask them what they feel. The fourth secret is “I feel” statements. This is where we express our own thoughts. We listen to them and give them our advice or opinions. The fifth and final secret is stroking. Stroking is to have genuine respect, care, concern, and/or admiration for that person. You have to make sure that you genuinely want to listen and help that person.
You’ve probably heard the saying that “communication is the key to a healthy relationship.” This is so true. Those who are able to communicate and solve problems more fluently have a much more happy and smooth relationship. Those who don’t communicate have a much more complicated and rough relationship. For example, my parents have the best relationship because they communicate what they feel with each other. However, it wasn’t always like that. In the beginning, my dad had a very hard time communicating because of the way he was raised. Him and his siblings didn’t talk about their feelings. It took some time for him to open up and it was something my mom had to help him with. Because they were able to work at it together, their communication with each other is one of the best I’ve seen.
No comments:
Post a Comment